Ten Things I Promise Not To Do, Now That I Have Become a Celebrity…
Posted by Nona Nita's Blog at 2/23/2011 10:35 AM 
Categories: Nona's Musings
Tags: grey hair aging seniors humor seniors humor senior humor seniors Seniors
Categories: Nona's Musings
Tags: grey hair aging seniors humor seniors humor senior humor seniors Seniors
Vowing not to become conceited with the celebrity into which I have been catapulted by being "grilled" on Grandma’s Briefs, I present this list. To those
readers who might fear that such sudden fame might go to my head I say, "Not to worry!" The facts are that based on past experience,
anything nice that comes my way that is
as delicious as fame, would be more
likely to go to my hips. However, to reassure all of you who know me as the
humble grandma that I am, I vow that unlike other celebrities in the past, I
will never…
1. pose nude for any magazine (bet you’re relieved already)
2. wear meat as a garment (at least not while there’s a crock pot within 500 ft.).
3. endorse any product that shores up my bones, stops
me from leaking, or prevents the urge to
run to the bathroom every two minutes (unless,
of course, I get lots of free samples).
4. be caught shoplifting luxury items that I can easily afford to purchase (like super soft double roll Charmin as opposed to the store brand)
4. be caught shoplifting luxury items that I can easily afford to purchase (like super soft double roll Charmin as opposed to the store brand)
5. allow any wardrobe malfunctions to interrupt my public engagements (barring the occasional under-wire popping out of its bounds and sticking me under the arm).
6. appear on The View to argue politics with Elizabeth
Hasselbeck. (I mean, honestly, what would be the point when I can just turn on
Fox News and yell at the T.V. set?)
7. star in any exercise DVD (unless the exercise
consists of warming up by putting food in my mouth, working the muscles
involved in chewing, and winding down with a swallow).
8. run for the office of Governor of California. (Actually this one wasn't hard…
I don’t run anywhere anymore.)
9. enter rehab at the Betty Ford Clinic (unless
they start a new program for seniors addicted to saying exactly what they think
without first passing it through a social filter).
10. create and star in a new reality show entitled
“Real Grandma’s of Long Island” where they might film me and my cohorts at the
senior center tearing out each other’s silver tresses over who gets to date the
only single man our age still breathing. (Actually, I might consider this one,
soon as my hair grows back from the last trip to the center…)
For more on Enlightened Grand parenting visit Nona Nita's Nook and click My Path Productions for ideas that support conscious living
I love this! I think a Real Grandma's Reality Show would be fun! I really enjoyed your grilling!
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It would probably be the most real of all reality shows as we would be the ones most likely to forget the camera was there ;o)
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I love this, Nita! So creative! Glad to read you won't allow your celebrity self to go to the dogs. Although a "Real Grandmas of Long Island" would surely be a hit. Maybe you should reconsider that one. :o) So happy to have shared you with my readers!
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Love it! I bet that you also won't be caught on camera using a bong, sunbathing topless on a yacht or dirty dancing at a club. Personally, I could live without pictures of anyone engaged in these activities.
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Great list! Fame will never go to your head.
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This was hilarious. I could relate to all of them, but I just loved #6. Congrats!
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Congrats to the newest Grilled Grandma.
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This was wonderful! I laughed out loud more than once -- especially number 7! Oh and Congratulations on "being grilled"! You have a great blog.
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Whew!!!!!! So glad to hear your "Won't Do's". Keep up the good work.
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Well celebrity does turn some people's heads but.I can't allow such nonsense to distract me... after all, I have a blog to write :o)
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This is hilarious. If we can't laugh we"ll go nuts, won't we?
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What a hilarious list! Every line was even more funny than the next. I think I should print this and post it in my kitchen, where I spend lots of time 'chewing' the facts!
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Very punny! Seriously, glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for stopping by the blog.
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Oh my goodness, your list really made me laugh. Dropping in via Grandma's Briefs. I'm adding your blog to my reader. I love finding other grandmas who blog.
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Welcome to the blog. Any friend of Grandma's Brief is a friend of mine!
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Oh gosh, that was so funny! LOVE your numbers 6 and 9 especially. I, too, was a grilled grandma, way back in the fall of 2010. It was the reason I started my blog, of which I am now hooked.
Love your blog!
Terri
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Yeah, six was a cinch to promise never to do, but 9 is another story. No filter has gotten me into some tight spaces making me consider some kind of intervention might be necessary. Of course, that only lasts long enough for me to tell myself off for even thinking about censoring myself. And by the way, your blog cracked me up, too.
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Congrats on your new celebrityhood (I'm pretty sure that's not a word because I can't find it on spell check.) I'm so glad you won't be doing any of those things.
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You know what you COULD do with your newfound fame?
Raise awareness about parenting grandparents!
I came across the growing community of parenting grandparents several years ago and became so interested that I started writing a book to help those in this situation.
Then, my sister became a parenting grandparent, and I threw out my first draft so I could rewrite it based on not only the interviews I had already done, but also her experiences.
I so look forward to reading more from you and would love your feedback on my website. Thanks!
Elain, LMSW, CHt
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