I’m trying to figure out why I find this whole Disney Princess thing so annoying.  When my daughter was little, she loved to watch Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella, over and over again,  just as my granddaughter does now. I can remember scouring yard sales for old dance costumes and sparkly tiaras to facilitate the imaginative play. What I don’t remember is being so annoyed about it. Of course, back then, there wasn’t a different costume including every accessory down to the earrings, available in every store for each Disney princess, and in those days, Barbie was just a well built girl, not a "princess". Now there are princess pajamas, princess slippers, princess t shirts, princess backpacks, princess toothbrushes, princess undies, princess Band-Aids, princess boo-boo buddies, and even princess chicken noodle soup.  Enough is enough!

      I get annoyed at myself every time I purchase one of these insanely overpriced items. The only reason I continue to do so is because my granddaughter is so taken by them, they are "pretty"  and, yes,  I'm an old softy... but the question still remains, why does it bother me so?  I suppose I could blame it on overkill in the marketing of these items. Besides all the chachkas, "Princess" stories abound, and are available in every genre, from DVD’s to computer games.  Every kind of book from Pop-Up to Sticker and everything in between bombards us from every shelf in every store. Between all the story lines and all the props available, there isn’t much room left for any real creative, imaginative play. From what I can see, "Princess" play circa 2011 is more like a puppet show, with a well-worn script and real live costumed puppets ... our little girls.  Even so, I don’t think the run-away marketing is really what sticks in my craw .

     I guess I just have to admit it. It’s the falling in love and living “happily ever after” part that pushes my buttons. One of my younger colleagues has tried to explain to me that today’s princess stories really try to encourage girls to become empowered and that the more recent ones like Mulan , Pocahontas, and The Princess and the Frog portray girls as courageous and accomplished, but the fact is, the majority of the princesses even in these newer stories still end up falling in love with some guy and living “happily ever after”.  I haven't seen one Princess yet deliver a line like “I’m sorry, it’s not you… it’s me. I need space to continue my studies, enjoy a rewarding and lucrative career, and then, when I’ve grown to know myself really well, I’ll consider partnering with someone who will be my intellectual and emotional equal.”  (although, to be fair, even real life Princess Diana had a tough time integrating all the elements of that one). The princesses of the stories may exhibit talents and execute courageous deeds, but the fact remains that the authors have the characters fall in love to complete their journey to “happily ever after”. I’d like my grand daughters to feel complete all the time. I don’t like the idea that they might think that they need to look for someone else to make them “happy”. 

     And so, I continue to assuage my guilt at participating in this charade by changing the endings a little to offer alternatives.  “Gee, what a shame she didn’t think about travelling the world a bit and then enrolling in college before she settled down”, I say at the end of Sleeping Beauty.  “Of course, she could have just thanked him nicely and asked for a ride back to the cottage where she could start a pharmaceutical company producing medicinal herbs and eventually find a cure for Plague, ” I add at the conclusion  of Snow White. Pointing out that any one of the Princesses could have enjoyed a career in the opera, is one of my personal favorites.

I know I'm not alone in this dilemma. In her book,  Cinderella Ate My Daughter, author Peggy Orenstein expresses genuine concern over the cultural messages little girls are getting from this phenomenon. A review  in The New York Times highlights some of the observations expressed in her book. I recently heard a local news show do a short bit exploring the possible damage being done to young, impressionable self images by this obsession, and I've heard the clucking of parents and grandparents alike as we line up at the cash registers with the latest batch of princess "stuff".  I know there are some people who will read this and think that I'm just an old dream crusher. But in 61 years, you have to learn something, and if there’s one thing I have learned for sure, it’s that nobody lives “happily ever after” until they fall in love with themselves.